Aspiring to be the best you can be

I haven’t blogged for a while. That’s kind of because I have another blog, I started this one just for my¬†fiction but I’m now finding I don’t want to write truthful things on my other blog because there’s too many people I know who read it. So I’m using this one for my most truthful posts.

When I was growing up, my family were neither affluent nor were they what I would call middle-class. However, I always set my aspirations high. In all areas of my life really. I guess that’s partly because I was always deemed to be the most intelligent person in all my classes in school, which was recognised by most of my peers, parents and teachers. It gave me an innate feeling of anything is possible.

This feeling waned throughout my secondary school. I mixed with new kids who had similar levels of intelligence, though I was always in the tops sets. I still had that feeling I could do anything with my life; it never really left me. That is, until the past three years. I went to university, did postgraduate qualifications and landed the first job I applied for. However, I don’t feel like I’ve even slightly fulfilled any of my dreams.

I dreamed to work on a magazine; my shy, quiet self plucked up the courage to ask teachers at my school if myself and my friends could start our own magazine, which was met with dismay – they didn’t have time. I told the careers advisor at 16 that I wanted to work on a magazine which was also met with dismay.

The truth is I feel stuck. I look at people who I went to school with and feel stupid for having aspirations. My aspirations have got me into educational debt, and I can’t help feel it just wasn’t worth it. Growing up I would think people who are career-less and simply start a family are wasting their life. But isn’t it more stupid to have dreams that will never be fulfilled?

I can’t help but think of George Osbourne‘s recent speech in his budget announcement about creating an aspiration nation. I like hearing dreams, I think it’s good for people to work hard, but we’ve ultimately got to put limitations on our aspirations. Knowing what you want, but also knowing your limitations I feel will deliver true success. This is what needs to be taught in school.

Missing

Things I miss:

  1. Coming back from a holiday and talking people through my real, smudgeable, shiny holiday photos…and stumbling across them years later in a kitchen drawer.
  2. Being completely and utterly infatuated.
  3. Sharing the same views as my parents.
  4. Unimaginably long, hot summers.
  5. Spending the whole school summer holiday waking up to Saved By The Bell and Bug Juice; watching the fun American kids had at summer cap and thinking I’d have sooo much fun there.
  6. Thinking that everyone believed in love.
  7. Art, I stopped after school; I wouldn’t know where to start now.
  8. The time when clothes weren’t so expensive and we all just wore jeans and a t-shirt.
  9. Moira Stewart on the 6 o’clock news.
  10. Knowing most of my neighbours.

Is there anything you miss?